


fine wine (and bad decisions)

by LegitimatelyLiteral



Category: GOT7
Genre: Dirty Talk, Fluff and Smut, Humor, JJ Project - Freeform, M/M, also drunk jinyoung, it's so bad i'm so sorry, jaebum is awkward, not that much smut tho it's mostly fluff, one-sided markjin, texted the wrong person au, that's how i write him okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-26
Updated: 2016-10-26
Packaged: 2018-08-27 01:10:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8382100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LegitimatelyLiteral/pseuds/LegitimatelyLiteral
Summary: jinyoung can’t hold his alcohol and drinks a lot, but is still very thirsty. mistakes are made. wrong people are sexted. everything is jackson’s fault. 
(aka the ‘i sexted the wrong person oops’ au that no one wanted or asked for)





	

Jinyoung is pretty sure every bad thing that has ever happened in his life can be traced back to Jackson, up to and including befriending Jackson. That time he threw up all over a guy he’d been trying to hook up with? Jackson had invited him to the bar and then abandoned him to go attention grab on the dance floor (and so what if Jinyoung downed way too many shots in quick succession so he could talk to the hot guy he’d been eying up for half an hour? Liquid courage is everything, and it’s still Jackson’s fault anyway). That time Jinyoung slipped on a puddle of water in the kitchen and sprained his wrist? Jackson didn’t clean it up (never mind that it was Jinyoung that spilled it to begin with, Jackson had _seen_ it and he should have been a responsible adult and cleaned it up). That time he missed an exam and nearly failed his statistics course? Jackson hadn’t woken him up on time (never mind that Jinyoung had stayed up all night cramming because he procrastinated and never mind that he made Jackson help him, it was still Jackson’s fault).

Even just yesterday, when Jinyoung dropped his phone in the toilet because Jackson couldn’t be asked to knock. _Never mind_ that they have gotten to the point in their relationship that they both walk in on the other in the bathroom, never mind that Jinyoung was looking at dick pics on his phone and Jackson walking in startled him so badly he dropped his phone, it was still Jackson’s fault.

There’s a few more things to note before the disaster that is Jinyoung’s future circumstances are explored further. One – Jinyoung had to get a new phone immediately because he uses it to check and write his e-mails and mark down appointments and important tests. Two – Jackson refused to give Jinyoung his number (“you don’t know my number?” “no, why would I know your number?” “oh, I don’t know, maybe because I’ve been using the same number for the past six years of our acquaintance.” “you think you’re important enough to me for me to memorize your number?” and then Jackson shoved a bagel in his face (fully loaded with cream cheese, the asshole) and stomped out of their apartment to do his morning workout). Three – Jinyoung is pretty headstrong and likes to drink wine on occasion and may or may not know his own alcohol tolerance (it’s painfully low, but Jinyoung will not acknowledge that Jackson can drink him under the table just by sipping a martini), and this combination leads to very, very bad decisions. That are still, obviously, Jackson’s fault. He bought this wine for Jinyoung’s birthday, after all, he was _enabling_ Jinyoung.

The fourth thing is that Jinyoung has been pretty unsuccessfully courting Jackson’s friend Mark for the past month. All of Jinyoung’s attempts at flirting have been met with calm smiles and subtle rejections and Jinyoung is getting _frustrated._ Jinyoung is hot, and he knows it, so who wouldn’t want a piece of his ass? Apparently Mark hard-to-get Tuan.

He’s suddenly dying to know the reason why Mark won’t return his really quite blatant flirtations, so he fumbles his half-empty wine glass onto the dining room table in front of him and grabs his phone. Only when he has it in his hand does he realize his contacts were wiped, so with a frustrated huff he attempts to remember what Mark’s number is or Jackson’s (so he can beg Mark’s number off him).

Then he remembers Mark’s hastily written note of his number that Jackson kept on a post board in his room dedicated to how certain important relationships he has got started. Thank God for Jackson’s sentimentality for once, Jinyoung thinks as he stumbles to Jackson’s bedroom. He makes it there mostly okay, only bumping his hip on the doorway hard enough to bruise, but dulled enough by alcohol for Jinyoung not to care.

He might be seeing double when he finds the small piece of paper tacked to the board amongst dozens of others, and Mark’s handwriting was never the best (it looks better when drunk somehow?), but soon enough Jinyoung has a number in his phone ready to send a text when he looks back at the bed and thinks _wait._

Wouldn’t it be a _great_ idea to show him exactly what he’s missing out on? Jinyoung smiles giddily at the idea, he’s not above flaunting his assets (emphasis on ass), and as a total unabashed bottom boy (Jackson’s words, not his) he will gladly put on a show and snag Mark’s frigid ass once and for all. It’s the best idea he has ever had, so he throws his phone down on Jackson’s bed and quickly strips himself of his sweatpants and boxers. He leaves his sweater on because it makes him look cute and he wants to leave _some_ things to the imagination.

He crawls onto the bed, only wobbling a little bit in his drunkenness (and eagerness). Grabbing his phone, Jinyoung positions himself on all fours and opens the camera app, turning it to the front facing camera. He cranes his arm back to position the camera behind his butt, and giggles at the picture it gives him. Only one cheek is in the frame, and Jinyoung’s head is clearly visible looking over his shoulder with his back slightly arched downwards and the sweater dangling low. It’s actually, all things considered, quite hot, and Jinyoung puts his acting skills to good use to give the camera a smoldering gaze, biting down on his lip.

He takes the picture like that, then flops down on his bare butt to look at it. He giggles happily at the result, not to toot his own horn or anything but he really nailed that ‘come hither’ look, and his ass looked great and plump and his cheeks (the face ones) were flushed (from the alcohol, but it’s not like Mark would _know_ that).

It is perfect, pretty much. So Jinyoung opens the new contact under the name ‘Mark Me’ (Jinyoung is clever even when inebriated, okay?) and attaches the picture. He worries his bottom lip between his teeth as he contemplates a message to send.

He settles with a simple, yet straightforward:

_I want you. Do you want me?_

He makes a high noise in the back of his throat as he hits send. Jinyoung is forward, but this is a whole new level for him and it’s equal parts _exciting_ and nerve-wracking _._ He can hardly wait for Mark to respond, and he’s so jittery that he goes around cleaning Jackson’s room (it’s a pigsty, so it’ll definitely keep him occupied) just to pass the time, continuously checking to see whether Mark has seen the message or not.

It’s a good five minutes later when Jinyoung starts to feel frustrated (he had finally put his pants back on two minutes ago), until he checks his phone and finally sees the little ‘Read: 9:47 PM’ and nearly drops his phone. He stares at the phone, wide-eyed for a full thirty seconds, but nothing happens. No messages appear, no dots, no nothing, and that sinking feeling in his stomach is either disappointment or he’s about to hurl.

Jinyoung rushes back to the kitchen to drink more wine and pretend his dignity is still in-tact, and he’s just about to refill the glass when his phone vibrates. Jinyoung snatches it from the table, heart beating wildly in his chest as he unlocks his phone to see the conversation.

_You have my attention.  
_

“What?” Jinyoung breathes, eyes wide and both hands gripping the phone like a life-line. Then, he frowns, because, “what does that _mean?_ ”

He’s typing those exact words when another message pops up.

_I might need a little more convincing though.  
_

Jinyoung’s heart is going wild at this point, the thought of Mark whispering these words to him in a smug, cool voice has shivers running down his spine and the room is _spinning_ (probably from the alcohol, but Jinyoung attributes it to his _almighty thirst for Mark Tuan_ ).

_How? I’ll do anything_

Thank God for auto-correct because Jinyoung is so drunk he almost sent ‘anythug.’ The reply comes fast and Jinyoung’s breath hitches at it.

_Another from the front?  
_

Jinyoung has never taken his pants off faster in his life.

He strips on the way to Jackson’s bedroom (he’s pretty sure Mark doesn’t know what Jackson’s bed looks like, and it would be weird if he suddenly switched rooms). His sweatpants get slung somewhere over the living room couch and his boxers come off in the hallway but end up getting dragged into Jackson’s bedroom as Jinyoung trips his way in, falling onto the bed with an undignified “oomph!”

His dignity doesn’t matter right now, though, what matters is acquiring the perfect level of catty innocence in this picture. Something that says ‘I’m available and I want you, but _you_ have to come and get _me_ ,’ or something. Jinyoung should really consider a career in photography.

He once again opens the camera and angles it up between his spread legs, giving the perfect view of his semi-hard cock and his face is angled down toward the camera, perfectly visible as he leans slightly back. He grins dopily for a second at the filthy image it creates, then uses the hand not on the camera to drag his sweater down to cover his junk. Jinyoung had already accomplished his mission of catching his interest, and he has always been a tease, so he snaps the picture with his mouth half-open and head tilted back slightly like he’s palming himself through the sweater. It’s a much more erotic image than the reality of the situation (he’s half-hard and the material of his sweater is too scratchy), and of course the drunken flush continues to be his best friend.

There’s no hesitation this time on Jinyoung’s part, sending the picture with an attached:

_Please._

Jinyoung is giddy with adrenaline and alcohol, bouncing up and down on the bed and jaw dropping when his reply gets read instantly.

_You’re gorgeous.  
_

Jinyoung’s eyes are wide and his face and neck feel hot from something other than the alcohol. That is not something he’d ever expect Mark to say, but Jinyoung just assumes he’s the mushy type in bed, which is perfectly fine with Jinyoung. Jinyoung quite enjoys being told how handsome he is, considering how fast his heart is racing currently.

_I need more, though. To see how well you can take it._

Jinyoung can feel himself getting aroused at the words, a flush over his whole body and he falls back with his legs open almost like magic. Then he pouts, because he has sent _two_ nudes and Mark has yet to give up one. Jinyoung may be the more desperate one of the two, but he is all about pushing the limits and he _wants_ to see how aroused Mark is.

_You tease! When do I get something in return?_

He’s well aware how needy and whiny he sounds, but also he’s drunk and horny and doesn’t care. The reply comes quick enough he doesn’t have to dwell on it too much anyway.

_You’re the one trying to convince_ me, _remember?  
_

_You’ll get a reward only if you’re good.  
_

Jinyoung whines low in his throat, unable to resist the urge to palm himself a bit, almost (embarrassingly) fully erect at this point. He groans and rolls off the bed though (for the greater good, he tells himself) to rifle through Jackson’s nightstand drawers for his lube. He finds it in the bottom cupboard-like drawer, then pauses because why the fuck does Jackson need a _gallon of lube._ And why is most of it used?

Whatever, Jinyoung tosses the thought aside and pops the cap to spread it generously on the fingers of his right hand. He puts the lube on the nightstand (nearly knocking a lamp over in the process, damn bottle of lube is _huge_ ) then with his left hand he gets his phone and props it up on the pillows at the head of the bed. He settles on his hands and knees again, looking between his legs to see if the angle is right. He looks ridiculous looking between his legs, but other than that it is one _fine_ view of his ass, so as long as he doesn’t look at the camera, he’s good to go.

He sits up and reaches back to hit record, then after a wink at the camera, slumps forward to start his show.

As always when he does this, he takes his time – circles the hole a bit and dips in and out with the first knuckle of his middle finger to relax himself. Obviously he’s more wound up than usual today, tense like a spring at what he’s doing and at the prospect of _finally_ getting to bed Mark Tuan and at the idea that Mark Tuan is (or will be) _watching him finger himself_. He doesn’t want to make the video too long though, so he dips his middle finger in slowly and sighs airily at the pressure. He wonders vaguely if the camera would have picked it up as he continues pushing his finger further, further until it’s fully inside and he waits for himself to adjust to the new pressure.

It’s not long before he’s wiggling his finger experimentally, then spreading his legs a bit wider as he adds a second finger with a slow exhale. He doesn’t want to bring out his porn star level moans this early, he wants to turn Mark on with his subtle noises and – yeah, okay, he’s lying. He really can’t concentrate when he’s working himself open with two fingers after nearly three weeks of being too busy to touch himself.

He’s panting lightly by the time he thinks to glance back at the camera, pushing himself up on his free arm and he looks so wrecked already it’s kind of embarrassing. He hadn’t done anything for a while, so he’s on-edge and sensitive and he _would_ be embarrassed if he wasn’t certain this over-sensitivity would turn most men on. Jinyoung’s really banking on Mark being ‘most men’ here, but considering the past month, he can’t be too certain.

He pulls the fingers out and sits up again to face the camera, leaning back on his left arm and giving a full view of his flushed pink cock. He strokes it lightly with his still lube-slick right hand, letting out an embarrassing mewl and thigh-twitch combination that he definitely did _not_ intend. He can feel his face heat again, but he can mask his embarrassment because he had already been flushed to begin with.

“Convinced yet?” he asks, going for alluring, but landing on breathy and desperate. Whatever, Jinyoung’s an actor, he can improvise. He whimpers as he circles the head of his cock with a slick thumb, eyes nearly falling closed as he practically _whines_ , “ _please._ I want you so _bad_.”

He takes a deep, shuddering breath afterward, leaning forward to stop the video. He takes a moment to collect himself, because this is turning him on way more than he’d expected it to, and Mark hasn’t even sent a picture, video, voice clip _nothing._ Clearly Jinyoung needs to get laid, like, yesterday.

It takes a few seconds of nervous thumb-hovering over the ‘send’ button before the video is on its way to Mark’s phone. He knows it’ll take at least five minutes (the length of the video, Jinyoung may have gotten carried away) for Mark to respond, so he busies himself with other things to maybe get his hard-on to go down and to clean the lube off his fingers with tissues from Jackson’s night-stand. Then he picks his way through Jackson’s room, folding all his laundry and putting it away, and _then_ after four minutes pass he goes back out to the dining room (definitely still pantless) to down some more wine because he’s not _completely_ shameless. He just sent a borderline porn video to someone he’s courting and what if he thinks Jinyoung is too desperate? Too whiny?

Jinyoung spits out the wine he was drinking when his phone vibrates in the hand not on the wine bottle (because he’s drinking straight from the bottle, fuck it). It gets all over his sweater and he curses because it’s fucking _grey_ and he _liked_ this sweater and he’ll _never_ get that out and fucking Jackson for buying him wine, why didn’t he get him vodka or something that doesn’t stain when spit out of the mouth in dramatic shock. Jackson should know how Jinyoung is by now.

That’s all forgotten when Jinyoung opens the text message.

_Is that all you can take? I’m a lot more than just two of your pretty fingers.  
_

Jinyoung squirms where he’s standing because _fuck_ if that hadn’t sent a jolt straight to his groin again, where he’d managed to calm down somewhat. God dammit surprisingly smooth-talking Mark. Alright, he’s tired of playing around, he needs Mark in him _now._

_Why don’t you come here and prep me yourself?_

It’s read instantly again, and Jinyoung doesn’t doubt he has the messaging window open and is staring at it just as Jinyoung is. It makes the nervousness in his stomach (or is that nausea) quell slightly, knowing he’s not the _only_ desperate one.

Jinyoung holds his breath when he sees the dots.

_Where are you?  
_

He releases the breath with a laugh, because what the Hell, Mark, where else would he be. Still, though, Jinyoung wants to try to be sexy because he has waited a _whole month_ for this and he’s not screwing it up now.

_My apartment, hurry please._

What? Jinyoung is naturally whiny when he wants something, and right now he _really_ wants Mark’s dick in him.

_Give me an address and I’ll be right there, beautiful  
_

Jinyoung preens because of the nickname, then pauses and frowns slightly as he rereads the message because what the fuck, Mark. He has been here so many times he practically lives here. Jinyoung debates whether to sass him, then decides _fuck it_ and throws caution to the wind because he pretty much has Mark wrapped around his finger at this point.

_What the fuck, Mark, you’re here like every other day but I guess I can’t judge because I don’t know Jackson’s phone number after six years._

Then he rattles off the address and waits. The message is read instantly, as it has been doing for awhile, so Jinyoung waits.

And waits.

His pulse starts racing when there’s no response after a full two minutes. He picks up the wine, chugs the last of it, looks at his phone to find he still has no messages. Then he cleans up the wine bottle and his glass, still no messages. Then he strips himself of his shirt (what? Jackson is spending the night at Youngjae’s and Jinyoung can walk around nude, thank you very much) and wobbles to his room to search clumsily for a Tide stick that certainly won’t help the deep red stain painting the front of his shirt. Still no message when he finds it. He scrubs furiously at it and glances over at his phone, yep, still no message.

He is about ready to throw his phone (or himself) against the wall when he gets a text.

_…Mark?  
_

Jinyoung is pretty sure his stomach drops out of his still-lubed-up ass when he reads this, and the room spins so badly (from both shock and copious amounts of alcohol, drink safe kids) that Jinyoung has to take a seat on the edge of his bed, slicked-up ass and all.

_Please don’t be saying what I think you’re saying_

Jinyoung stares in open-mouthed horror at the response he gets.

_Well, this is awkward  
_

He lets out a noise that’s something between a squeak and a groan and nearly throws his phone in embarrassment (and shame and shock and he’s going to _vomit_ ).

_You’re Park Jinyoung, Jackson’s friend, right?  
_

_He talks about you a lot, says that you’re cute but actually Satan  
_

_I thought he was trying to set us up or something? I don’t know I always thought you were gorgeous and your ass is very distracting  
_

Jinyoung vaguely wonders if it’s possible to choke to death on one’s own tongue, as he continues to choke on air.

_This is Im Jaebum, by the way. Nice to formally meet you?  
_

Jinyoung drops his phone to the carpeted floor, turns around in all his naked glory, and throws himself atop his pillows to scream in true Drama Major fashion. A few minutes later, he comes up for air and is significantly redder in the face with his eyes squeezed shut. He feels _way more_ sober than he probably is because his wet dream just turned into a waking nightmare.

Because he had _not_ been texting nudes and porn videos to Mark fucking Tuan but, in fact, to the university’s resident heartthrob Im Jaebum – hot, cute, unobtainable, _straight_ Im Jaebum. Jinyoung’s eyes fly open as he reevaluates everything from the past hour and applies it to Jaebum and _okay, or not._

Jinyoung rolls himself to the end of the bed so quick he almost goes flying off. He eyes the phone like it’s a live bomb, before diving for it and actually falling off the bed. The resulting thump is loud and probably heard by his neighbors, but he doesn’t give a single shit as he texts at lightning speed, naked body rubbing uncomfortably against the carpet.

_YOU’RE STRAIGHT THOUGH?_

_WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY ANYTHING WHEN I FIRST SENT YOU A PICTURE OF MY ASS_

_You think my ass is pretty?_

_You think I’m gorgeous?_

_JACKSON TRIED TO WARN YOU AWAY FROM ME BY CALLING ME SATAN?_

Jinyoung might be scaring off the only eligible sexual partner he has had for two years, but he has a lot of questions and he’s naturally curious and he’s _drunk_ and Im Jaebum is supposed to be attractive and _straight_ not attractive and _thirsting after Jinyoung’s dick._ Though, the latter is way better than the former and Jinyoung is not going to question his fortune. Okay, maybe not, because he’s thirstier for knowledge than he is for Jaebum’s (or Mark’s) dick.

Well, debatably.

_I’m bi. Who said I was straight?  
_

_I told you, I thought Jackson gave you my number and you were just being bold? It was a vague message okay and I’ve seen you checking me out  
_

_I said your ass was distracting, not pretty. But yes it’s also very pretty, and as I’m sure you know, I would very much like a piece of it, but uh, I think it’s too awkward now  
_

_Yes I think you’re gorgeous and cute and pretty as long as I’m embarrassing myself I might as well be honest  
_

_Is Jackson the one that told you I was straight? He wasn’t trying to warn me away, he was just warning me when I told him I thought you were hot._

_And if Jackson didn’t give you my number, how did you get it and how did you confuse it with Mark’s?  
_

Jinyoung rolls onto his back so that he doesn’t get carpet burn on his dick and nearly hurls from the vertigo. Yeah, he drank way too much, yet not nearly enough for whatever the Hell is happening right now. It’s like it went from a wet dream to a waking nightmare back to a wet dream again and Jinyoung has whiplash and his dick doesn’t know what it wants anymore. Imagining _Im Jaebum_ calling him gorgeous and beautiful in that smooth voice of his sends sparks of want shooting through Jinyoung that he never even realized was a possibility. Once he’d found out he was gay, he never went after straight guys or thought about them as a rule to protect himself, and now he’s _bamboozled_ by beautiful now-very-much-obtainable Im Jaebum.

_I just assumed you were straight when Jackson told me you used to date Park Jimin_

_I HAVE NOT EVER CHECKED YOu okay maybe like once or twice o ra lot you have a great face and those SHOULDERS and arms like damn_

_Thank you and yes I’m beautiful but please keep telling me I like to hear it_

_I got your number from his post board of ‘how I met x friend’ or w/e that fucking weirdo does but I thought it was_ Mark’s _because I’m fcking plastered and can barely stay upright? I’m on the floor_

Jinyoung licks his dry lips, willing the bile in his mouth down as he looks down at his semi-hard dick and mourns the loss of his one night-stand with _the_ Im Jaebum due to over-drinking and Jackson. Everything is always Jackson’s fault. Jackson and his stupid wine. He’s still drunk enough to make bold, impulsive decisions though, so he sends:

_Also, as long as we’re being honest, I’m naked and horny and it’s your fault_

The message is marked as read, and Jinyoung waits for a good thirty seconds for a response before he drops his phone to the side and curls into a ball to maybe hopefully get the room to stop spinning so he can get up and get some water and maybe food. He needs time to digest this entire situation, anyway.

He has drifted off into a semi-slumber, drifting in and out of awareness with waves of nausea hitting him ever-so-often and the room spinning behind his eyelids. After ten or so minutes his phone buzzes, and he lazily reaches over to check it. His message with Jaebum (Jinyoung quickly changes ‘My Mark’ to ‘he almost fucked me but I fucked it up’ and giggles a little hysterically) is blank, but there’s a notification from Jackson.

_You dead? I got a weird message from Jaebum  
_

Jinyoung snorts. What a caring best friend he has.

_What kind of message?_

_I’ll come home if you need me to  
_

They text at the same time, and Jinyoung rolls his eyes (even though it makes the room spin _worse,_ no amount of bad drinking decisions can keep him from sassing Jackson) just as the buzzer for the front door goes off. Jinyoung groans again.

_He asked if you were home alone? And what kind of drunk you are? No jokes should I be worried  
_

_Let your own ass into the apartment, asshole, I’m not getting up_

They message each other simultaneously again, and Jinyoung blinks at the message. Then blinks again as his brain slogs through the information and connects the dots, then he’s stumbling up and throwing his phone to the side, ignoring whatever message Jackson sends him in favor of throwing on his silky blue bathrobe. Then, in his drunken rush to get to the foyer he hits his hip on the doorway (again, second time today, _same damn place_ ). He curses as the buzzer goes off once more and Jinyoung stumbles his way through the spinning hallways to the front door, then looks at the intercom.

There in the little video feed is a very nervous-looking Im Jaebum holding a convenience store bag in one hand while the other is shoved into the pocket of the black hoodie he’s wearing. He’s shuffling from foot to foot, wearing sneakers and _gym shorts (_ who wears _gym shorts_ in _winter_ ), and chewing on his bottom lip quite aggressively.

It’s kind of adorable, or it would be if Jinyoung wasn’t mostly naked and drunk as Hell and worried about how terrible he looks.

Still, though, Jinyoung is weak and Jaebum is attractive and he opens the door just a crack to gauge Jaebum’s expression. Jaebum startles, badly, when the door opens and nearly drops the bag he’s carrying. It’s cute, and brings a soft smile to Jinyoung’s face even though he still kind of feels like vomiting, there’s also now stupid butterflies in his chest as he opens the door fully.

“Hi,” says Jaebum awkwardly, a flush rising in his cheeks at the sight of Jinyoung, so at least Jinyoung doesn’t look as bad as he feels. A small victory, really, because he can’t sleep with Jaebum like this, he’ll literally vomit on him while riding him and Jinyoung’s pretty sure that isn’t anyone’s kink.

That, and he’s not really sure how to tell Jaebum he doesn’t actually _do_ one-night-stands, as much as he talks it up. He has to get to know someone first, and feel comfortable with them. He’s disgustingly sappy like that, but it’s not like anyone has to _know_ (Jackson knowing is enough Hell, because Jackson will never let him live it down).

But Jinyoung is sure that Jaebum has condoms and lube in that bag, and the silence between them is awkwardly stretching as Jaebum stares at him with the flush burning bright, so Jinyoung says, “sorry-“

“Do you want to go on a date,” Jaebum blurts, then scrunches up his face like he hadn’t meant to say that, or he had and hadn’t meant to _shout it at full volume_ in Jinyoung’s face. “I mean, not right now, obviously, but whenever you’re free, we could… go to coffee or something?”

He sounds hopeful, and Jinyoung is blinking at him owlishly because _what the fuck._

“Sorry,” Jaebum rushes out next, taking Jinyoung’s stunned silence as poorly as a man expecting to get rejected from the get-go. “I just- I like you, I think you’re cute and funny, but I don’t do one-night-stands? I have to get to know the person-“

“Oh my God,” Jinyoung says, cutting Jaebum off and Jaebum looks like he’s biting back more blabbering. He’s staring at Jinyoung like he’s a rabid dog about to bite him and Jinyoung wants to laugh because _how is this his life._ Drunken sexting to Mark leading to getting asked out on a date by beautiful just-stepped-right-off-a-magazine-cover Im Jaebum.

Then he _is_ laughing, he can’t help it, everything is ten times funnier when you’re drunk and this is hilarious to begin with. He can’t believe his luck, and thank God for drunken fuck-ups and getting the wrong number. Jaebum is looking increasingly crestfallen though, so Jinyoung stands up straight from where he’d been leaning against the doorway for support with a hand covering his laughing mouth.

“I would love to go on a date with you,” Jinyoung tells him, eyes whiskering as he smiles at Jaebum, ridiculously happy.

“Really?” Jaebum looks confused, yet with that same hopeful glint in his eye, and Jinyoung nods, unable to hold back the dopey smile.

“Really.”

Jaebum smiles back, tentative and shy, and they share a moment of cute, romantic staring. Then Jaebum is bringing up the convenience store bag, “I brought ddeokbokki from a street vendor on my way and some nausea pills from the convenience store, also I wasn’t sure if you had painkillers for the inevitable headache tomorrow, so I got them, too.”

“Oh my God,” Jinyoung groans, truly distressed and maybe a little bit in love. “Why are you so perfect? I’m going to vomit.”

Jaebum snorts, but looks a little smug, missing the way Jinyoung’s smile drops and he goes a little green. “When I court someone I do it right, I don’t just send them pics of my ass-“

“No I’m actually going to vomit,” Jinyoung says, and then turns to dart down the hallway with Jaebum calling after him. He is _not_ vomiting on his crush. Not again. Not today, Jackson, you piece of shit.

He hurts his knees falling in front of the toilet, but at least it’s not Jaebum’s shoes which he’s heaving the contents of his stomach onto, so he considers it a win despite the probably bruised knees. He startles a little when he feels a hand rubbing circles on his back, then relaxes into it as he heaves more.

Jaebum starts humming some sort of pop song as Jinyoung retches loudly into the toilet, and it’s stupidly sweet and endearing despite (or, Jinyoung guesses, in part _due to_ ) the circumstances, he keeps his warm hand on Jinyoung’s back, and only leaves once to put the ddeokbokki in the fridge and wet a wash cloth and put the cool, damp material on the back of Jinyoung’s neck and Jinyoung moans into the bowl (attractively, so attractively. Yeah, no, he’s never living this down).

Five minutes later, Jinyoung looks up at him with the ghost of a smile, significantly paler and voice scratchy as he says, “still want to go on that date?” He tries not to betray his vulnerability, tries to put it off as a joke, but the shakiness in his voice (damn you, alcohol and vomiting and _Jackson_ ) sort of ruins it.

Jaebum shrugs, and Jinyoung’s heart sinks. The corners of Jaebum’s mouth twitch up. “I’ve literally seen you finger yourself, I’m pretty sure we’ve skipped a few stages in this relationship. I didn’t expect this day to end with me nursing your drunken, plump ass while you vomit into the toilet when I first got your text, but I don’t mind. I accept your vomit.”

“You’re gross,” Jinyoung croaks as he ducks his head back into the toilet to avoid Jaebum seeing him blush. It’s weird, still being embarrassed in front of someone who has seen him with two fingers up his ass, but he did _not_ expect ‘chic & sexy’ Im Jaebum to be a total _sap._ It’s nice, and Jinyoung wants to date him more than he ever wanted Mark’s dick. It’s kind of a shocking realization, but Jinyoung is drunk and sleepy and still kind of nauseous and dizzy, so he files it away for later analysis.

Jaebum nudges the side of his burning face with a water bottle and Jinyoung accepts it, nearly chugging it all down in one go. “Says the one with their head in the toilet bowl.” He says it softly, jokingly, and Jinyoung wants to pretend the flip in his stomach is completely because of the alcohol and nothing else.

It’s another ten minutes before Jinyoung is ready to be helped to the bedroom and, in Jaebum’s cooed, mocking words, ‘tucked into bed.’ Jinyoung is far passed being embarrassed around him (a lie, the biggest lie, he is pretty sure he hasn’t stopped blushing since Prince Charming himself stepped foot in his apartment), and so unabashedly clings to Jaebum while they wobble their way to his bedroom. Jaebum is expectedly strong, and it’s a turn-on, but that’s for _another day,_ dammit Jinyoung you are drunk and just vomited for ten minutes straight, be thankful he is even still here. His arm is firm around Jinyoung’s waist as he guides them both to where Jinyoung is directing him, and then the front door is slamming open and they both glance across the living room to find Jackson looking furious and running _full speed_.

He vaults the couch, and neither Jaebum nor Jinyoung have time to react before he’s slamming straight into Jaebum in a full tackle and sliding across the hallway floor. Jinyoung shrieks and falls on his ass, robe slipping off one shoulder. He watches, wide-eyed as the two of them grapple on the floor with Jackson ending up on top and a confused Jaebum beneath him.

“I thought you were cool, man!” Jackson screeches, looking about ready to start strangling him, and Jinyoung is confused until, “but then you pull this shit! Jinyoung is impulsive as fuck when he’s drunk! I told you this and you were going to take advantage, you son of a-“

“Jackson!” Jinyoung scoots forward in the most undignified manner possible to kick Jackson square in the back so that he rolls off Jaebum. As flattered as Jinyoung is by Jackson’s overprotective impulsive idiocy, he’s pretty sure he wants to marry Im Jaebum at this point, so he needs Jackson to not kill him. “I love you, too, you giant fucking nerd, but you’re wrong. He brought me ddeokbokki, which is in the fridge and if you eat it I’ll murder you in your sleep, and painkillers and nausea medicine and got me water and rubbed my back while I was vomiting-“

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Jackson said, wide eyes looking between Jaebum, who has pushed himself up onto his elbows, and Jinyoung, who is sitting on the floor with his legs folded underneath him and a starry look in his eyes. “When did you two elope? I didn’t even know you two knew each other?”

“Long story,” quips Jinyoung.

“No it’s not,” Jaebum says, eyebrow cocked and amused at the shushing gesture Jinyoung does at him. Then he gestures at Jaebum to help him up and Jaebum does as commanded, standing and offering Jinyoung an arm up.

Jackson’s jaw is slack as he looks between the pair of them. “What is happening,” he asks no one in particular.

They leave him there, lying in the hallway having some kind of existential crisis (Jinyoung doesn’t care, it’s not like Jackson does anything but laugh when _Jinyoung_ is having one) and finally make it to Jinyoung’s room. There’s a little wet spot on his bright pink sheets from where he’d sat earlier with the lube, and Jaebum gives him a look that says ‘really?’ but his ears are pink and his grin is wolfish. Jinyoung just wants to sleep before Jaebum does something that Jinyoung will regret, like smile like that again, because then Jinyoung will want to kiss him and _no one_ wants that since he just _vomited._

“Thanks,” Jinyoung says a bit shyly when Jaebum finally gets him settled under the covers, tucking him in and everything. Jaebum waves a hand and leaves the room without a word, and Jinyoung is dumbfounded and a little anxious until Jaebum comes back with the medication and more water to put on his nightstand. Jinyoung could cry.

Jaebum sits on the edge of the bed, right next to the nightstand and gives Jinyoung a soft, warm smile that has Jinyoung melting and his head spinning even more. “So, date.”

“I’ll text you,” Jinyoung says, giving him another smile that is probably fifty shades of disgusting because all of his feelings for Jaebum are just mushy and gross like he wants to raise puppies with him and go to aquariums and go on gym dates and shit and Jinyoung _hates_ exercising, but it would be worth it to see sweaty, intense Jaebum. Well, he guesses he could see that in other ways too and _fuck_ he’s thinking about sex again.

“Just no pictures of your ass this time,” Jaebum says, so apparently he’s thinking about it, too. Then Jaebum’s smile drops and he looks contemplative. “Well, okay, I wouldn’t mind more pictures of your ass, if I’m being totally honest. But I _would_ like to set up a date as soon as possible. Please don’t give me blue balls again.”

“I’ll text you,” Jinyoung repeats, snuggling down into his blankets and feeling all warm and fuzzy and tired. “I can’t guarantee no ass pics, though. It’s too beautiful to not be loved.”

Jaebum hums. “So are you.” Jinyoung’s eyes shoot open from where they’d been slipping closed (Jaebum had turned out the light when he came in the second time, so the only light filtering in was from the hallway), but Jaebum is already turning away. “Good night, Jinyoung. Don’t forget your medicine and water.”

Jinyoung is lost for words as he watches unobtainable-except-now-I-have-a-date-with-him Im Jaebum walk away. He may also look at his ass, but mostly his heart is thudding as the door closes because Jinyoung had _definitely_ heard him and he _definitely_ has a huge ass crush and he is _definitely_ texting Jaebum a pic of his ass tomorrow because he is nothing if not contrary and a little bit evil.

-

Jinyoung is slipping into sweet, sweet dreamland when Jackson screams, “PARK JINYOUNG! WHY IS MY LUBE OUT AND WHY ARE YOUR BOXERS IN MY ROOM?!”

Jinyoung smiles, burrowing further under his covers.

For once, Jackson isn’t at fault - finding Jaebum and landing a date with him is, of course, all thanks to Jinyoung.

(Ignoring the fact that it was Jackson’s wall where Jaebum’s number was, and Jackson’s wine that Jinyoung got drunk off of to text him to begin with, and Jackson’s connection to both Jaebum and Jinyoung that led them to knowing each other at all. But really, when it all came down to it, Jackson had nothing to do with it.

Because only bad things come from knowing Jackson. Trust Jinyoung, he knows.)

**Author's Note:**

> okay so lily is a bad influence and i never write smut yet here we are. it’s not FULL SMUT mind you but literally i’ve never written anything even close to this so i’m sorry for everything. this was supposed to be a short story and as per usual it SPIRALED SO FAR OUT OF MY CONTROL 
> 
> i may or may not write a continuation for this eventually but i have so many other wips ima just mark this as completed and call it a day
> 
> (my writing blog on tumblr is @sseugijaebeat, in case you wanted to know!!)


End file.
